Poems by Ed Decker
Jesus Christ and his Disciples at the Last Tupperware Party
(To be spoken/read in the style of the Gregorian Chant)
Then Jesus did pass the Tupperware to his disciples, and say
"This . . . is my product line. It will keep the blood of the everlasting covenant fresh for we--eeks"
Jesus then showed them the deluxe set.
He opened his arms wide, and said, "Perhaps I can interest you in the hamburger press and freezer set? The Hamburger Press and Freezer Set makes a great Christmas gi--ift"
And the disciples passed it around to each other.
And paul said, "Write me down for a set, Je--sus
And john said, "Me too--oo,"
And peter said, "I'll take two, one for my sister and one for my bruh--ther.
And Judas testified, "But, Jesus, doth not Ziploc bags serve the same function as Tupperware and yet is much chea--per?
And Jesus said, "Yo Judas, why you always trying to fuck up my shi--it?"
Here is a live reading of The Last Tupperware Party
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Thanks to Alicia Champion of Durga Sound for the audio
The #4 Combo
My bride and I
Are getting hitched
And the radio goes,
Going to the drive thru and we're
Gonna get ma-a-arried
My wife calls it
The McMarriage. . .
We pull up to the window
And the Reverend appears
He spreads his arms and says,
"What are you having today my children"
"We'll take the number 4 combo," I answer
(That's the ceremony, wedding music, a novelty license plate and two t-shirts commemorating the sacred event).
Around the Reverend's neck dangles a gold cross on a fat golden chain
His hair, as Zevon would say, is perfect.
The watch on his wrist is Rolex.
And the name plate on the window sill says, Da Rev!
Da Rev looks my bride up and down, lingering on her soft swells
"Do you take this hot mama to be your wife," he says, still staring at her ample chest.
"I do, I do, Indeed I do."
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