by His Craigness
Craig Yerkes
Photo provided by: Scott Zensen

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Welcome to San Diego Musical Death Match 2.0

Craig has been really busy with The Grams lately, but eve with that duty he managed to squeeze out a new article for MyWeek for May and I think your gonna like it. Brooklyn is under fire from his Craigness. Also it looks like Astra Kelly has laid down the re-challenge to Jeff Berkley but he has yet to reply. If you are reading this, next time you see Mr. Berkley ask him if he is gonna take this challenge or take a defeat by defaulting?

SDMDM2.0 has gone to a rather erratic schedule, I will keep trying to keep Craig interested in doing more. But you can help by leaving comments or emailing him if you like what he does here. Let him know!

Brooklyn vs. Brooklyn

Is time travel possible? It is in the world of Craigness! So, this time I am pitting the Brooklyn of old (with long hair - aka, LHB) against today's Brooklyn (with short hair - aka, SHB). One inherent problem with this scenario is that with only one actual participant, death is certain for that party. We'll just have to figure that one out later...

Who has bigger muscles?

Have you seen short haired Brooklyn? DANG! Her arms sort of look like Sarah Conner's from the Terminator movies. Someone told me she is on some kind of vegan diet these days where all she eats are almonds and pieces of tree bark, so she's ripped like a mo-fo...but craigness could still win in an arm wrestle (I think).

Winner - SHB

Who would have had a better chance of getting bit by the same shark that bit that guy in Solana Beach?

Long haired Brooklyn, with that impressive crop of red locks, would have appeared to be some kind of stray kelp bed floating near the surface, so the shark would have passed her by. Short haired Brooklyn doesn't smell right to a shark, due to her weird diet.

Tie

Who would her band members rather play with?

All of Brooklyn's band members have privately told me that they think Brooklyn should let THEM sing all the songs instead of her, but now that her arms are so buffed out, they are frightened to speak up.

Winner - LHB

Who told Sven Erick Seaholm that he should stop producing local artists and start growing soy beans?

Vegans sometimes say weird-ass sh*& due to a lack of protein. She also told Scott Z. that she was going to offer herself as a maid to Billy Coomes.

Winner - SHB

Who could slam dunk a basketball?

The last couple of times I have seen SHB, she was wearing high heels from hell and I think she was about 6'7" or something like that. Chris Dale comes up to her belly button.

Winner - SHB

Looks like SHB is the winner, but they both LOSE unless someone can come up with a way for me to do away with one version of Brooklyn and not harm the other. Let's see...who do I know who is REALLY smart? Hmmm...got it, Tim Flack, please contact me immediately if you ever want to see Brooklyn again...

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